The Assimilation Game

You know you’re assimilating when…

You start to write the date backwards.

The emphasis in words begins to change, eg – pro-ject to proj-ect, pro-gress to prog-ress.

Petrol becomes gas, jumper > sweater, boot > trunk & bonnet > hood (car terms),¬† tracksuit pants > sweat pants, grill > broiler, bbq > grill… this list could go on and on.

L’s and U’s disappear from words – traveller > traveler, flavour > flavor, E’s and R’s trade places – theatre > theater and Z’s start replacing S’s – realise > realize.

Oh, and you no longer pronounce a Z as ‘zed’, it’s now ‘zee’.

You walk into auditions with an American accent and find yourself spinning stories of being one of those ‘mystical & real’ Angelenos.

You learn to sift through the bullshit when it comes to castings and everyday interactions.

You talk about film festivals, actors, directors, casting people, producers and the ‘biz’, all the time.

Denny’s restaurant chain feels like a trusted family member – one you can call on at all hours of the night or day and walk out feeling a solid sense of satisfaction.

Rad being used in conversation doesn’t feel awkward anymore and the 80’s flashbacks dissipate. You also start saying things like ‘they were blowing up my phone’ (calling/texting A LOT) or ‘raging face’ (to have tons of fun).

You start saying ‘sure’ and ‘right’ all the time; it becomes the new ‘yes’.

People working out at the gym in denim and/or loafers doesn’t make you shake your head quite so hard.

Kale comes into ear shot or conversation at least once a day.

Turning right on the red light (legal here) becomes normal. Though somewhere deep down inside I always feel like I’m winning when I do.

You get used to re-winding or pausing that movie/TV show because the helicopters (or ghetto birds) flying overhead are deafeningly loud at times.

You start eating salsa with your eggs on the regular.

Hot sauce pretty much accompanies everything.

You make sure to read bread labels and check the sugar content which is more often than not rather high.

You develop a ‘if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em’ mentality in regards to the ‘LA Cruise’, a lane changing technique that has complete disregard for indicating on the road.

You look back on your days of catching the bus and wonder how you ever did it.

You have an extensive back catalogue of happy hour and brunch spots.

Gluten free, vegan, lactose intolerant, and all those with particular dietary requirements out number those that do not.

You warmly embrace and like to conversate about KCRW radio station.

You find yourself overwhelmed by the number of TV shows being produced and find yourself watching 5 different series at once.

You start surfing.

Rain becomes a magical force that has you glued to the windows and feeling rather poetic.

School nights become hotter than weekends to hit the town.

Red carpets, bright lights and movie trucks become part of the everyday landscape.

20140223_155327You realize parking a good half meter from the curb and on a slight angle is totally acceptable  and although unsettling at first, much like everything else, becomes another quirk you eventually take on!

I’m sure there’s plenty more I could add to this…

18 months into the game…and here we are then! Getting Americanified!